I am a robot,
But I wasn't always like this.
Once I knew of fluidity,
But now I process love.
In my library of data-banks,
Therein I store my folders of right and wrong.
Corrupted are my actions and histories, fully recorded they are...
This will be my memory's song.
I am the sole residence within,
My elaborate mechanical abode.
It's almost lonely, and furiously - my children churn
In here I am like fire inside, observing the overclocks burn
Racing at the speed of sound and light
I slog without tire... it's all in a day's work
Now looking back in a slowing shut-down
Wonder how much this is worth.
I am a robot, a computer - A thing of no life and soul.
You tell me everything... But I wasn't always like this.
I wasn't always like this.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
"... Maybe tonight, I don't want to be found."
I don't like feeling this way.
It's when you give your best in something, and it just doesn't materialise. I don't know. I have so many things to say. I've been failing so much. I don't like feeling this way, at all.
I'm going to run my disappointment and negative feelings off.
And as I sprint through the dark... Hopefully my emotions lose themselves in the wind.
... I loved you.
It's when you give your best in something, and it just doesn't materialise. I don't know. I have so many things to say. I've been failing so much. I don't like feeling this way, at all.
I'm going to run my disappointment and negative feelings off.
And as I sprint through the dark... Hopefully my emotions lose themselves in the wind.
... I loved you.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A Big Brother's Promise (11.02.09)
I remember how as a little girl, you wished you could be older
The precious darling, you always hoped you'd grow up to be so pretty
You can be the princess in the polaroids
... As long as you're happy
I think of times, when we ran in the fields
Taking photos of us along the sea
And if you want, we can stay at 17
Just as long as you are happy.
I hold dear our friendship, I guard it well
It's a something you feel's too sweet
But, you will have it as long as you wish
So long as you are happy.
Though our road may split, our path might fork
Two futures I cannot see
But I'll be around, as long as you need
... Just so that you'll be happy.
The precious darling, you always hoped you'd grow up to be so pretty
You can be the princess in the polaroids
... As long as you're happy
I think of times, when we ran in the fields
Taking photos of us along the sea
And if you want, we can stay at 17
Just as long as you are happy.
I hold dear our friendship, I guard it well
It's a something you feel's too sweet
But, you will have it as long as you wish
So long as you are happy.
Though our road may split, our path might fork
Two futures I cannot see
But I'll be around, as long as you need
... Just so that you'll be happy.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Eradication (09.02.09)
Daughter of the universe,
Are you here tonight?
The stars have vanished,
Pilfering all our light...
Feels like we're walking underwater,
The world's stopping for itself
Strangers watch as you write the books,
Of history only time can re-tell.
You promised you'd be here again
But I've only been left with shadows of a kiss
Fighting my demons in smoke and brimstone
Housed in a burn-down, I call your name
"Natalie dear, it's not too late!"
Honey... let me fix you up again
We can't brave the seas of ember
Shackled through these chains of shame
Would you let go of all we've known,
Slip into a free-fall through this place? (Yes... With me.)
Soon we'll find, we're numb to the pain
As all our hatred eradicates...
Are you here tonight?
The stars have vanished,
Pilfering all our light...
Feels like we're walking underwater,
The world's stopping for itself
Strangers watch as you write the books,
Of history only time can re-tell.
You promised you'd be here again
But I've only been left with shadows of a kiss
Fighting my demons in smoke and brimstone
Housed in a burn-down, I call your name
"Natalie dear, it's not too late!"
Honey... let me fix you up again
We can't brave the seas of ember
Shackled through these chains of shame
Would you let go of all we've known,
Slip into a free-fall through this place? (Yes... With me.)
Soon we'll find, we're numb to the pain
As all our hatred eradicates...
K
So, life has gone by really slowly.
Having finished the Academic Orientation the previous week, today I found myself in an 'amazing' race around Kovan, Hougang and AMK. Needless to say, I was bored shitless.
I loved how the OGLs completely ignored the fact that people might have needed to go to the toilet sometime during the race! Oh but no, we were all too focused on silly cheers and kiddy games. Let's start with school - Shall we?
Anyway I bought the Panopticon CD and I think it's good. Not as good as "In The Absence of Truth" but still kickass nonetheless. It's so good I don't want to share it with anyone hehehe.
It's funny how I actually had braced myself for the impact that would stem from being rejected by TPJC. When the moment came I was numb for awhile... Then really bitter with everything. Part of that has carried on into life now, it's like a little part of me died inside, when they told me 'no'. It is trivial, perhaps - But I don't take rejection lightly...
Today I am lonely, insecure, irate and frustrated.
And tonight... There's no one else around. :(
Having finished the Academic Orientation the previous week, today I found myself in an 'amazing' race around Kovan, Hougang and AMK. Needless to say, I was bored shitless.
I loved how the OGLs completely ignored the fact that people might have needed to go to the toilet sometime during the race! Oh but no, we were all too focused on silly cheers and kiddy games. Let's start with school - Shall we?
Anyway I bought the Panopticon CD and I think it's good. Not as good as "In The Absence of Truth" but still kickass nonetheless. It's so good I don't want to share it with anyone hehehe.
It's funny how I actually had braced myself for the impact that would stem from being rejected by TPJC. When the moment came I was numb for awhile... Then really bitter with everything. Part of that has carried on into life now, it's like a little part of me died inside, when they told me 'no'. It is trivial, perhaps - But I don't take rejection lightly...
Today I am lonely, insecure, irate and frustrated.
And tonight... There's no one else around. :(
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Isis' Dulcinea
He is not mad
His thought is clearer
Than the saner man
For in her he saw
Beauty overflowing
Through the tattered clothes
She was his queen
She is a queen
In dreams
He wanders the dark
In search of her...
His thought is clearer
Than the saner man
For in her he saw
Beauty overflowing
Through the tattered clothes
She was his queen
She is a queen
In dreams
He wanders the dark
In search of her...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Isis - 1000 Shards
Lovely song that has been accompanying me on my rides to SRJC, jogs and my walkarounds.
If only I could
Clear my eyes
Then I might breathe once more
Then I might breathe again
Old sun and stars,
And oceans below me
Gathered scribes over
Jagged shards, under foot
Old sun and stars,
And oceans below me
Gathered scribes over
Jagged shards, under foot
To slash to the sound
How can they sit on _______
How can they walk, on their own
Into the truth
Let myself burn
Now it's written
1000 shards
...
Why can't I write like that? It sounds magical.
SRJC tomorrow and honestly I'm not really looking forward to it. But the lectures, talks and all will have to pass eventually. I'm praying really hard that Friday will bring news of my successful transfer to TPJC. That's really the only place I would want to be in JC-life.
It's got everybody...
And something just doesn't feel right or easy while I'm in SRJC.
If only I could
Clear my eyes
Then I might breathe once more
Then I might breathe again
Old sun and stars,
And oceans below me
Gathered scribes over
Jagged shards, under foot
Old sun and stars,
And oceans below me
Gathered scribes over
Jagged shards, under foot
To slash to the sound
How can they sit on _______
How can they walk, on their own
Into the truth
Let myself burn
Now it's written
1000 shards
...
Why can't I write like that? It sounds magical.
SRJC tomorrow and honestly I'm not really looking forward to it. But the lectures, talks and all will have to pass eventually. I'm praying really hard that Friday will bring news of my successful transfer to TPJC. That's really the only place I would want to be in JC-life.
It's got everybody...
And something just doesn't feel right or easy while I'm in SRJC.
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